SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

anu ba yan

i'm still disoriented, 7 days later. 

i'm expected to function at work, but i can't seem to... not properly at least.

My heart breaks for the Ondoy victims.

My family was a victim too, and for the first few days after the flood, we couldn't help but keep to ourselves. Now that we're back on our feet, with cash dried up, my family is planning to help:

1) everyone under our payroll

since food is apparently abundant...

2) school supplies for the children..for when they get back to school

3) and our old clothes for whoever wants it

hats off to the volunteers, rescuers and organizers. 

haaay

im praning.

officially PMSing- in my head.

will ditch work for tonight.

-

i did ditch work, just the first thing on my to do list. ended up doing the rest underneath. bull.

i don't know what kind of a dilemma i'm in: my direct boss is being overly active right now (and is borderline annoying-because i don't need to be reminded of things that i need to do) just because our main boss had a talk with her a while ago and felt threatened by my competence to replace her as depratment chief. 

Her being hyper and trying to show that she's "working" at the wee hours of the night and nagging me for things that are less important does not fool anyone.

i just had to throw away about a hundred stories that i've written. ..

events that happened in about a year and half are now in a pile of wet paper.

i tried to save it, God knows i did.

i refuse to dull my shine for anyone.

--

be curious, not judgemental- Walt Whitman

i love you, cupcake.

- To get so fucking wasted, that i won't remember shit. 

that's it, bow.

i think i should be tired

but i'm not really.

my heart is so heavy. need to detox and get fucking wasted.

i'm sick again.

wtf?!

i also just semi shouted at one of my teammates...nothing serious.

it felt good to be in charge.

control freak, much?

sicky sick sick

work is... work.

i'm sick. and it's 3 days till

for the nth year, i don't feel it. i'm not even planning on doing anything.

maybe a day at the parlor, mall, bookstore, dinner with my family and drinks with my besties. hmmmm..

all right.

first breather of the day... i should say night.

still sick, on the eve of my 22nd. is it weird that i just want to have beer/cocktails/wine with my bestest?

if i had a significant other, i'd probably just drag him to a movie and nice quiet dinner.

i think it's time to stop having birthdays and stay 21 forever. whenever i see college kids in uniforms i still feel like theyre older than me.

well. i'm 22.

thanks to facebook, i've gotten greetings from people i haven't talked to in years. funny.

yesterday was uneventful, still had to work but just hung out with people who mattered late in the night. it was nice still sick though. 

grabe lang ha.

oh jeezuz. i just wrong sent a message to the talent about her daughter.

damn.

moving on..

OH dear. it's almost christmas.

I just spent the last hour and a half watching old film school films.

I remember now why I loved it, why I love it.

yesterday was sassa's show. it was awesome as usual..

i threw up everything i ate that same night. i couldn't digest anything, i had to go to sleep with a migrane and totally no food in my body.

..as much as i would like to lose weight, i totally don't want to die.

my HS friends said i was acidic, my work friends said it was my body reacting to stress.

either way, i hate having to throw up food.

not to mention throwing it up in public places.. people might think i'm bulemic.. or worse... pregnant.

right.

why am i in this industry again?

have the sniffles again. the team is in banaue while i, along with the coordinators are left to move in the horseshoe house and fiz all budgetary concerns.

hmm.