SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

the other day when ben and i were left at fairways while i was EDITING (don't hold your breath, i got a migrane 2 hours into it), and we were talking about cebu, films, stories, etc. he mentioned that no matter how much he tried, all his stories all ended up with the theme of abandonment. I agreed, recalling all of his previous work and indeed, they were all about being abandoned, abandoning, etc. He followed up, that no matter how much i tried too, mine were all about love.

I agreed and said, in my defense, that i try really hard not to go down that path. BUt alas, I always do.

I didn't think much about it afterwards and we went on talking about him pretending to be drunk during tiki time.

When i got home, i thought about what he said and why his theory about our stories were right. Here's what i came up with:

His stories were always about abandonment because maybe that's how he subconciously felt cause technically, he's all alone now. or he's always felt alone.

We were taught to write what we know, afterall.

On to my never ending, always losing battle to love stories... Well, that's the only "branch" I haven't discovered thoroughly, really and until now, it's all fog and white noise from where i'm standing. I figured, since I considered writing as an escape, not necessarily just as a way of dumping my experiences into paper, i sort of.. well... it's all i want to happen, i guess.

--

ANYWAY, skycable is being a total bitch. it goes on and off again X10. bwiset.

I'm about 11 Chapters into the audio book.i could totally see where all the twihards come from.the author totally played up edward; how he was perfect in anything, etc, etc. it's eeeeehh.. ALTHOUGH, it is indeed poorly written. I bet, if i hadn't watched the movie prior or if i was actually reading it, i would've put it down on the first few pages.

I imagined bella to be girlier than kirsten stewart.. rob pat is alright for the role i guess.

it's pretty slow, i wouldn't listen to any anymore.

ANYWAY,browsed through the zara sale after our meeting. I LUST for most of the items in there!!! aaaah! i wish i had money

can not sleep

came home from ice age3. i couldn't really concentrate on the film because:

1) i had to pee and it was very cold

2) i rejected a call from my boss (cause i was in a movie)

3) i saw a certain SG... YES, MY sg. the only one. It was refreshing... I might write more about it tomorrow.

I am VERRY VERRRRRY sleepy.. and i feel very flush. I won't be surprised if i get sick.

ciao.

for some strange reason before i slept last night, i kept thinking about my chance encounter with a previous character from a previous season in my life.... and him being my personal edward.

it was weird thinking that.. but it was the first thing that came to mind. ...

on to other news:

Image from jak and jil

I don't know who he is,  but he is fffiiinnnneeeee.

i'm watching this tagalog movie starring sharon, richard, edu and carmina circa 1994?

Their acting is amazing. They actually look like theyre fighting and crying and kissing! not the type they do today where they just press lips.

Those were the days.

i totally have to disinfect my room and everything i touch.

my eyes are soo poofed up, like i cried the entire day. although technically, i did- just not for the regular reasons.

it's either the flu or that dengue blood finally made its way through out my body.

i'm still sick. it's def not dengue or the swine flu..its just your regular flu with cough and colds.

i haven't eaten since friday. i'm hungry.

i feel like such a loser. i just watched gattaca for the first time. awesome awesome movie.

whatever happened to ethan hawke?

So yesterday i spent most of the day roaming around the marketmarket department store (which i ABSOLUTELY LOOOOVE!) and got myself a copy of the 7th HP book- finally! I made a mental note to start reading it last night so i could finish before the movie premiered and blahblahblah.

While i was prepping my hot choc and my bed for the book, my phone rang.

I apparently got a promotion. A promotion with a 10 am deadline and about 10 other million things to do before the sun rose the next day. I looked at my watch, it was only 9:30pm. I had a lot of time... but it didn't feel like that at all.

i finally rested my head at 4am and woke up again at 6 to finish it and submit. I was able to sleep at 830 and wake up just about an hour ago.

I'm totally disoriented, I don't know if i should drink hot choc or an energy drink.

i keep forgetting to unearth the love letter i wrote to my sg a couple of years ago. i remember it being funny. i wanna share it to the internets.

i also can't wait for harry potter 6. i just downloaded the audio book. i didn't finish the twilight one. i got bored. ehehe

what else...

i just chose sleepy drugs over beer. hmm

haha.. i just finished reading that "love letter" i wrote for a certain someone three years ago. It was funny, honestly. I'm not sure if its smart to post it up here... although maybe i'll post snippets. haha zomg. I can't believe i wrote that before.. but i've got to admit, it did help a lot..for my ego and my all around wellness. hahahah ayayayayayay....

"..Oh! and there was this one Saturday I saw you at g4. It was bittersweet really. More on the bitter side, actually. Sweet because at least I know you go there, meaning you are near the area; bitter, because you were alone and it seemed you were waiting for a date.. I saw you checking the cinema schedule and i guess i panicked  and i rushed to get away from there so i won't see you looking all happy wiht your date. I mini-sulked after that. I tried so hard not to think about it. I really did. So yea, after a while i didn't really mind not seeing you anymore because i decided that you weren't into me like i thought you were..."

and

"...I did not understand, I wasn't even THAT much into you. I mean, yes, i have dubbed you my sex god because i admit that i think you look yummy, but that wasn't enough really...for a girl to obsess like this. I don't get why you make me this crazy. There aren't even butterflies when I see you! plus i don't turn all jelloid. Grr.. It pissed me off that I can't explain it.. "

and the funniest, after confessing my undying love to this boy:

"..oh and of course if you are gay, (which crossed my mind a million times because a human being blessed with your good physical genes cannot be single that long UNLESS.. [raised eyebrow]...am i right?) I totally respect that and you can just keep/burn this letter and it will remain but a story to your future husband and adopted child/children...actually now that i think about the possibility of you being gay, the more i'm convinced.

But of course, if you aren't- i'm gravely sorry and i hope you understand that that was due to my hormones. I still think you're a sex god, either way.."

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA ZOMG. that letter was dated 9/16/06. I can't stop laughing...

ang cute nya. bow.

Because i just watched weeds..

Cute din sya.

ANYWAY, I'm trying to keep myself busy.. i mean, it's been a while since i was and i totally don't want to be on "permanent vacation."

I want to get my working groove back, permanently... and it's the primary reason why I can't think of sensible things to post other than cute hot, halfnaked naked, boys men of the internet.

I found two albums that i can totally listen to on loop- forever.

yesyesyes!

Some unknown number texted me and asked if we could be "text mates" HA. I didn't know that happens still. vair grade school.

I don't know what to do. I'm not being dramatic or anything.. i really don't know what to do... with work i mean.

total loss.

this feels all too familiar.

omg.

I was right, wasn't i?

that's one off my fearless forecasts.

---

it's one of those days. hmm.

aaaahhh rainy rain.

I totally just woke up. hmm

I just finished playing dress up...

and i'm currently od-ing on the sartorialist...

i should get back to swimming.

kamusta naman ang bagyo.

lazy rainy day

..although i am loving this weather, i hate what it's doing to my body...

because i am an old woman, my joints are aching from the cold.. yes, i think i may have arthritis. and it's not recent.

i'm still in limbo.

i don't like it at all. I feel hesitant about 2 upcoming jobs and i have no idea why.

I don't know if it's the weather, the people around me, the job itself.. i don't know. I can't believe i'm second guessing what i claim to love. It doesn't help too that they tore down the friendster horoscopes.. not that i get my life lessons from there. I just need a little nudge to ANY direction.

I was about to get my questions answered with this movie that was poised to tell any lost soul what to do but once the supporting character spewed out the 3rd cliche life lesson before the climax, i decided that the writers didn't know what they wanted to say.... and that their movie wasn't worth taking seriously.

and so that leaves me with,

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WITH ME??

i hope to get my second wind soon. very very soon.

potter tomorrow afternoon.

I haven't seen hp6 YET, but there's a lot of buzz surrounding the breakout star new hawt papa. So, because i'm in the loop and i don't want anyone else callng dibs, i'm calling dibs first.

mmmmmmmmmm

..freddie stroma is a doll.

for the movie... it's okay. It was bitin. but it was alright. there was so much build up to such a short and eventless climax.

although,  I will always and forever love harry potter, no matter what.

bellatrix lestrange/helena bonham carter is the bestest.

my closest friend in lasalle graduated yesterday and it got me thinking, if i had gone back to lasalle after iaft instead of being a "filmmaker" and taking projects here and there, i would have graduated last night too. (that's assuming i don't fail any more math and accounting classes)

but alas, i didn't. and now i have about 1 year of experience over them. i wouldn't have it any other way because lasalle was (and still is) toxic for me. happy for the graduates still.

ANYWAY, i vaguely remember my dream last night but i know it involved a new student, (who i thought was the cousin of an ex friend) that needed a campus tour, us being lost around campus and a blue eyed blonde bombshell who couldn't keep his eyes off of me- freddie stroma, is that you?

okay, so maybe stroma has green eyes and brown hair. the only blue eyed blonde babe i know is...rocky. who probably forgot that i exist since he left for college early 4 years ago. baaahumbug.

True.

The Life Path 7 suggests that you entered this plane with a gift for investigation, analysis, and keen observation. You are a thinker of the first order. You evaluate situations very quickly, and with amazing accuracy. As a result, you are thorough and complete in your work, the perfectionist who expects everyone else to meet a high standard of performance, too.

A Life Path 7 person is a peaceful and affectionate soul. But you guard your connection to people carefully. It´s easy for you to detect deception and recognize insincere people, and you avoid them. You aren´t one to have a wide circle of friends, but once you accept someone as a friend, it´s for life. It´s as if you must get to know someone a lot better before you allow the wall surrounding you to be penetrated. Chances are you are a very charming and refined individual with great poise and a quick wit. Nonetheless, there is an exclusiveness about you. You probably aren´t a very social person. Your reserve is often taken to be aloofness, but actually, it´s not that at all. It is merely a cover up for your basic feeling of insecurity. There´s no rush, It takes time for you to warm up to new friends. Clubs and organizations hold little interest for you; you are not a joiner.

-

I am totally having friendster horoscope withdrawal so i settled for this in facebook. I know it's not daily and i know this about me already.. but .. yea.

I have a shoot tomorrow! as a.d. i don't know why i said yes seeing that i absolutely hate ad-ing.. but they need help, and i have free time.

It's going to be an interesting day.

so.. it was okay.

would've wanted it tighter, but they seemed okay with it.

i still feel pringles that i've done something wrong. i'm just not sure what

before i forget. i've been mulling some ideas in my head since the start of the week. some are good ones, some are bad.. ijust wanna list them down before i forget completely.. which is likely because i am me.

- i suddenly felt the urge to finish my feature.. after seeing hp6... and a bunch of movies.. i have no idea why.

- i attempted to watch cinemalaya yesterday. i was there, its just that my companions kept me waiting for 30 minutes (under the hot sun and with an incredibly awful migraine) and made us miss the movie. i tried. I think i'll just wait for the movies to come out on dvd.

- mad men is an awesome series. i just started watching it the other day. it definitely isn't my type of series but the entire story line and the dialogues are subtle which i absolutely love.. not to mention it's set in the 60s and everything in it is vintage.

- i'm having migranes a lot lately. it got me worried a little bit last night. it might be because my eyes or my teeth are acting up, or i might have this insane tumor that will cause me my life... thank you, medical dramas.

hmm. that's pretty much it for now.

just got a message from an old schoolmate in facebook:

we must act at once!

ryan's story about the vigilante. we decided to let you be the screenplay writer. bc everytime he tries to write it down, he will always stops at the 2nd or 3rd scene. bc he's mind will fast forward na. lol

please tell us you're game and up for it. there's one funding but deadline will be next month na daw. hmm don't know when exact date. but if hindi pumasok, target is cinemalaya next year.

let's arrange a meet up to explain things and plots. thanks a lot love.

there are at least 100 things wrong in this message.

there are  just some people who manage to irritate you without even trying...

she is not my favorite person.

i enjoy looking for cheap, one of a kind finds in hole-in-the-wall stores.

i know what i want just by looking at it once. I don't need to try it on or what.

sometimes i go for designer, but i would be very happy with cheap knock offs as well.

when i need something, i canvass the entire mall- and sometimes other malls till i find a nicer, cheaper similar product. If i don't find it, i'll go back to the first one i found.

when i'm feeling impulsive, i wait for the bag/shoe/top/skirt/etc. to "speak to me". i pick it up first, go around the store, by the end, if i don't feel attached to it, i leave it.

i make sure my purchase is timeless

-

that's how i shop. now what does that say about how i love?

well.. my weekend went by just like that.

i'd like to sleep and not to see ms excel for a while.

-

power naps are awesome. i have a bunch of things to say but i'll wait until my head is all organized and shiz

because i can't post anything on facebook...

not that i can't literally, i cant because some people might feel that i just ditched.

i just had a meeting the entire afternoon... and it def called for beer.. and so i had one. i think i want one more.

ANYWAY, i accidentally ordered an alcoholic drink with my lunch a while ago so i was def tipsay for the first part of the meeting. i didn't know my shake had any. but all is well. i shall take it.

hmmm..

there's nothing like ice cold beer, chips and wipeout.

oh jeeezuz.

i tried to hand whip my whipping cream. one of my many attempts to find what jippan uses on their coffee jelly.

i just totally guzzled like a small carton of cottage-cheese looking whipped cream.

ick.

dear writers of the hangover,

stills showing "the night before" has been.. done before.

ehem ehem.

--

anyway, it's a total guy movie.. but can't deny the funniness.

i totally threw up all the whipped cream. gross.

i'd go back to:

1) a week in 3rd year highschool.

2) a holiday break in rhode island

3) a weekend in cebu

and

4) a week in the old old philippines.

I just added this friend in fb who puts up vintage filipino shiz. I was watching this video ..some sort of docu of how it was c. 1900. I can't explain what i felt while i was watching it. it's just overwhelming to see how it was then and how it is now. i feel like i'm about to cry because of it.. but i know i won't. seeing all of that is just really making me feel... odd.

impromptu shooting with the timer.

teehee

i don't get it either

so i volunteer for this tv taping, right?

right.

I'm not sure if the directors have told the producer theyve told me to help him.

and now he (the producer) is avoiding all my texts and calls (and me, most probably) like the plague cause i think HE feels that i'm clawing my way up to get his work..

WHICH I'M NOT! please, it's the last thing I'd like to do... it's insane cause i just suddenly receive all these new information from someone else completely..

Now, i'm all left in the dark and i have to call whosits and whatsits just to know what is happening.

wtf.

I have other things to do, if they don't need my help.

I'M NOT EVEN GETTING PAID!  SUPPOSED TO BE PART OF THIS!

pota

HINDI AKO A.D.!!! aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

-

the only thing i want to be is an awesome screenwriter.. who produces from time to time just because i have nowhere to throw my money at.. yknow? there is no a.d.-ing bone in my body..well, maybe there is- seeing as i am a control freak and i try to manipulate people... but I WOULD RATHER NOT.

I would if my life depended on it, just as i would edit/light/cam-op if there's a gun pointing to my head...

but i don't.

and i don't have a freaking sign that says "A.D. FOR HIRE" hanging on my forehead either...

so tell me why does everyone think that they could get away with me as their a.d.? fotashet. once or twice is alright but, cmon!!!!!

i guess i should learn to say no too, huh? damnit.

"Team effort is a lot of people doing what I say- Michael Winnings"

oh divuhh.. linya ng producer yan eh.

ANYWAY, on to lighter, more immature news:

ahihihihihihihihihihihihihi...

i can already hear my little brother snickering with me on this one..

hheeheeeheeee

maybe i over reacted in my previous post.

all is well because ben saved the day and all i have to do is paperwork and phonecalls.

thenksghad