SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

I hope we could spend more time together
A few hours is better than never
If we could only make it longer
A whole day would be fine
A whole day would be fine
A whole day would be fine
A whole day would be fine

I think it's time to clean your car
I'm not home if someone calls
We could go out for a day
We could sing some songs we hate
Why not swim in someone's pool
Jump a crane 12 storeys high
Have a picnic in my room
Sit outside and watch the moo
(chorus)

We could drive in to the malls
Or stay home and watch TV
I don't care if we don't have lunch
Just as long as we have iced tea
I could take you to a film
Hunt for books and magazines
Is that new song out on sale
I think that dress is kinda pale
(chorus)

There are times when we disagree
My heart sings to the sea
I'm always anxious when we kiss on me
Please don't tire of understanding me

Being with you makes me feel so safe
I don't care if we go out of town
I don't care if we sleep all day
Basta't kayakap ka ay okey
(chorus)

A whole week would be fine
A whole month would be fine
A whole year would be fine
A decade would fine
A century would be fine
Fine, fine time (4x)

Forever would be fine.

-Eraserhead

oh wow. it's like i just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.

film politics is awful.

i promise to myself that i will TRY to not make enemies in the industry ever.

..and i am officially sick.

i have enough drugs in my body that i feel numb. 

im totally idle (and drugged) right now that i might just.. fly to...

or call...

or not do anything at all.

oh no no no no no no no no no no no

i'm stuck in the middle. with everyone else.

why can't anyone understand that i am non confrontational and friendly and that i hate fights.

goodgawd, ericflo sent eugene a message that was nice if you weren't ericflan. eugene made ericflan read it, and now he (ericflan) replied with something that was nice if you weren't ericflo. (i assume)

it was attached to everyone's email. e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e. I haven't actually read it for myself, i was about to but chickened out. damn.

oh, i dunno. im totally drugged and idle and i don't know what to do. i totally DON'T want to take sides but ericflo is HERE and will probably get me more work while ericflan may have us blacklisted with international contacts.

oh nonononononononono.

this whole thing is totally blown out of proportion and i don't know what to do.

well, i know what to do... it's just that i don't know how without hurting anyone or digging myself deeper in the shithole that ericA has dug for me.

last night, after the email thing we all met up and ate dinner. V, ben and I were telling eric to just blow it off and spurt out a quick thank you to flanagan. THIS morning when i opened my email, i saw a reply from florentino.. i didn't read it yet but the preview read: "not only are you arrogant..." 8-|

a few hours later, florentino called me up and said to check out his reply.

i am totally at a loss.

i have no issues with ANYONE from the NYU team. ANYONE, even flanagan. Yes, i was inconvenienced but it's not like anyone died.

THIS IS CLEARLY BETWEEN THE TWO ERICS.

If i were to step in to say what i want to say, then it will look like I turned my back on florentino and kissed flanagans ass. If i totally supported florentino's quest, then i would look like a complete bitch who abuses her fathers connections- and an all around bad person. 

what did i get myself into. (technically- nothing. but just because of association, i become one of the bad guys.)

I wish the both of them would stop speaking for everyone else.

We agree with SOME of what florentino is bitching about and i'm sure it's the same for the other team... right?

i finally read the emails.

phew.

i thought i was gonna die in anxiety. Although my name was mentioned many many times, i'm in no position to react. and i will hold my ground and let the two erics battle this out.

As far as i'm concerened, i had so much fun, i met new people and it was a new experience. that's it.

..and i don't know why the emails have to be attached to us. .. it's completely personal and private.

bow.

all is well. fritz intervened. i sent eugene the cast and extras list and she replied and it seemed we were still friends so i guess that's good.

I HAVE TO WRITE.i have about 2 weeks to spurt out a first draft. I've been sitting infront of my laptop for approximately 2 hours. I have typed about 2 sentences.

MOTHER FUCKER.

STOP

i feel like im in a movie right about now.

like nick and norah or juno.

..

or i might just be high from the pentel pen fumes.

i found my old cebu stuff. like my old clipboard i use for shoots, my old notebooks, my shoes, my id and old supplies

i still can't find dwights jacket. frick.

WAS a little drunky. good to see old faces again

not like it matters.

it's not like i have school..

i can't wait till everyone smells of sunblock, pinacoladas and the beach

ooooh.. please be as thorough as i think you are...

---

the kings of leon sound super sexaaay

Well. let's not beat around the bush. It's 6 days till Valentines. I choose not to sulk. Not that I have been for the past few. I'm just reminding myself.

I remember last year, I was working on a shoot and thought that i wouldn't have it any other way... and then on the weekend after valentines day, "IT" happened... totally awkward. good thing i flew back to manila. ANYWAY, uhmm.. i wish to donate blood again. it's been a year or so since i last donated for valentines.

hmm.. if only han would realize that we're really meant to be together.

not.

sorry, i just needed to get it out of my system before finding someone else to mind-molest.

I might be spreading myself too thin to cover up valentines. I have 2 shoots that are looking to shoot on Vday. I hope one of them does.

-

Need I remind that I am COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS in general?

I've been roaming around always lookin down at all I see.
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach.
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
And all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers undercover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me
Somebody
(Go and let it out)
Someone like you
Somebody
Someone like you
Somebody
Someone like you
Somebody
I've been roaming around always lookin down at all I see

-Kings of Leon

--

sexy sexy hmmmm

enough.

It's not that i'm tired. Just do it already. The suspense is killing me.

--

I found a new addiction. seaweedys!! You know the ones they use for sushi? i lobe it!

was at wednesday club. i missed my friends and had super fun but there was a moment which made me feel a little guilty.

We were sitting outside at F and then this street kid wanted to sell flowers and i did what i usually do- i shooed him away. My friends were totally surprised and started calling me mean. i tried to defend myself and told them i was trying to protect their bags and the rep of F etc and they wouldn't listen!! they kept calling me mean and shiz

we laughed it off eventually but i still feel bad about it.

it's probably the beer talking. i can already feel the guilt wearing off.

BUT STILL!!!!!

it's not enough to say that i miss you

lalala

I haven't even had my morning coffee yet.

when i went out to have my 2 pieces of bacon, dad gave me stuff to do for the airship.

this summer is going to be very very busy.

YAAAAAAY!!

--

omg! it's also friday the 13th!

it's vday tomorrow!

thou shall not be b.v. i will be shooting with friends. and it's gonna be funfuckingtastic

I drove to pampanga! whoohoo. first time to drive out of manila! i can now do anything!

vday was spent how i like spending my days: shooting and with good company. Although traffic proved to be a bitch and the grand gesture i was waiting to happen didn't happen, i wouldn't have spent today any different.

happy happy day of hearts.

--

Toothpase Kisse

Cradle me
I'll cradle you
I'll win your heart
With a whit-woo
Pretty shapes just for your eyes
So with two-faced kisses and lies
I'll be yours and you'll be...

Lay with me
I'll lay with you
We'll do the things that lovers do
Put the stars in our eyes
And with heart-shaped bruises
And late night kisses
Divine

*whistles*

why oh why must i always get sick after every shoot? hmm bad bad bad

my head is about to split open. and i still have a freaking shoot tomorrow!

18 hour shoot.got home at 3am.

fucking exhausted. but i can't sleep in, my minds already awake. i can feel my body protest though. my feet and my back hurts. a lot.

the shoot was fine. it was just a loong day.

i've just realized that i haven't had a good cry in a loooooong time- and that's good! don't get me wrong... i'm just.. looking forward to it. sort of.

..just to maybe to reassure my tear ducts still work. or that i still have emotion.

yup.

I NEED TO WRITE!!!!!!

i don't know why i didn't think of it sooner. fairways is JUST THERE. damn. i'm gonna go hibernate there tomorrow or maybe the entire weekend. ciao.

i was able to write at fairways. about two pages. that's not bad. well it is, considering that the deadline is on the 27th.

i also went to a pseudo surprise dinner despidida but not really for sassaj with the other friends.. and spend about an hour dancing like crazy at embassy with a white tee and sneakers.id like to believe i was able to pull if off.

uhh.. that's it really. i don't know why i wrote here, nothing significant really happened.

i watched the movie adaptation of the book that i can blame (or thank) for my current status. It was okay. nothing that i didn't know already. 

a guy will do anything if wants to see you again.

true.

i slept the entire day!

aha ha ha

-

my throat is fucking killing me!

i just stepped on a mouse.

you have no idea how much effort i put into screaming (given my scratchy-voice state right now).

I don't know how it happened, ate ro and i were just walking to the dressing room and i felt a small lump (ick ick ick) stuck to my left slipper. i thought it was some random piece of masking tape or what not but when i looked under, it was a mouse.

THE HORRRROOORRR!!!

i kicked my slipper to the high heavens and ran to the dining room in all my scratchy voice glory. it was insane.

ick.

i am now wearing new slippers.

1) finish  my script

2) plan and push through the hundred islands/coron escapade

3) close the deal with hey jude

spent most of the day in fairways. was able to spew out 7 pages. 80 more to go! whoohoo.

also went to the rooftop. BEAUTIFUL! on one side is a view of makati and rockwell, on the other, taguig. it was breathtaking.

i want to live outside the city (or the country) for about a year again.

i've been blogging in this site for 5 years. 8-|

i just spent the night re reading. like i usually do, it's just that this time i read the ones about rhode. sgood.

nothing is really happening. i swear to the big JC i have transformed into some sort of stone person again. hmm. I don't know what to do to force some sort of emotion in me. it's insane. Sometimes i come off cool and calm but most of the times they just think i'm mean and passive. frick.

is it my fault i'm numb?

someone tell me what's happening.

i totally dreamt of the jobros last night. from what i remember, they came to manila and slept in our house (i dunno why!) in the dream, i was (still am) totally crushing on the youngest one with the curly hair and i remember being super frustrated because he didn't give me the time of day. then the dream quickly changed and i was swimming in an indoor pool and that's it.

weirdicles.

i gave in!!!!!

ive gotten so faaaar.

ive gone the ENTIRE week without coffee! until just about 20 seconds ago.. damn.

i can't find my class ring! the one that's legit from middletown!

i don't know why i suddenly decided to look for it. actually, ive been meaning to, just not as determined as i am to finding it now. (maybe because i was watching highschool musical 3)

I WANT TO FIND IT NOOOOOOOW!!!

Mom called. Lola died.

my siblings and i are at fairways, swimming.ha.

we kinda expected it. its just still sad.

were leaving for ilocos on monday i think.

we're leaving tonight.

i just came from chino's party. its sad that i had to leave early but. yeap.

i was still happy to see old faces.

i have:

1 bag for clothes

1 laptop bag

1 everyday bag

1 misc bag

-

armi was also there awhile ago! heehee. had to refrain from singing their songs infront of her in hopes of an impromptu audition. heeeheeee