2 inhches away from the screen.
my head hurts. i dunno if its from sticking my nose in too near or just a nasty hangover from last night. drunky. yet again.
downed vodka,rumand coke,and redbull.
im gnna take a shower.
yes, listening to the song i was listening to when i knew it was over. im not wallowing or anything. it really was THE perfect song for that time. ..im just listening to it.
The first time we ever got a chance to be alone we knew,
That it was wrong to do,
I guess that's why I was drawn to you,
The 2nd time leads to the 3rd, the 5th, the 7th time,
I feel so alive, it won't last but it's alright,
Fleeting joy and fading ecstasy, here it goes again, oh,
Sneaking fruit from the forbidden tree, sweet taste of sin,
And I'm doing it again;
Yes, I'm doing it again,
Oh, I'm doing it again,
I said it would end but here it goes again,
This time you told me you saw me at the same hotel,
You said you knew me well, and I had a familiar smell,
You asked me how am I ever gonna learn to put my trust in you,
Like you want me to, 'cause I know what you're prone to do,
Accusations fly like bullets do, here it goes again, oh,
But you know me because you're doing it too,
The cycle never ends, never ends,
Oh, you're doing it again,
Yes, you're doing it again,
Oh, you're doing it again,
You said it would end but here it goes again, and again, and again
Damn, I love you, but this is crazy,
I have to fight you almost daily,
We break up so fast,
And we, we make up so passionately,
Why can't we just trust each?
You can't hate me and be my lover,
Passion ends, and pains begins, I come back...
And we're doing it again,
Yes, we're doing it again,
Oh, we're doing it again,
We said it would end but here it goes again.
Each time you call me home in a sweet refrain,
Saying things will change, you'll take away the pain,
Then we flashback to the first time you put your spell on me,
You envelope me, you feel good as hell to me.
One moment leads to another few,
Here it goes again, oh, oh,
Leaving you is, oh, so hard to do,
I just can't pretend, can't pretend,
I keep doing it again,
Oh, I'm doing it again,
Yes, I'm doing it again,
I said it would end, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah
Oh, I'm doing it again,
I said it would end, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Oh, I'm doing it again,
I said it would end but here it goes again, again.
sooo same situation almost the same people.
going to bkk. last minute kinda thing. i can't wait. =D
cause of the food and the shopping. i love the cultural stuff too.
back from bkk.
going back to cebu in a couple of hours.
screening. ok
lil bit drunky. yet again.
just disappeared from the face of the tiki
lu lu
well, went to the mall. just to eat lunch supposedly.
i have:
2 new dresses
4 new movies
a dozen of new underwear
and a bunch of caramels.
The boys are graduating tomorrow.
okay too drunky. its not funny anymore. r boys graduated. have to finish mine and trox' screenplay. lavit
i feel like throwing up really, but no.
met kev's brother, kian. funny bitch. like kev.
oi
my head is spinning. fuck.
Love is such a funny word... and it was thrown around rather carelessly last night, yes, when everyone was fucking drunk to their wits.
Here are the few moments that I remember people using it.
1) When Trox and I had our heart to heart talk about film
That was a very nice pep talk. For the both of us. I was 100% buzzed and still everything I said to him about film, and the future was absolutely genuine and heartfelt.
2) When Kz accidentally told V he loved me infront of me
I just laughed it off. We talked about it, we're good now, right? Plus he was all like, "I love you so don't fuck up Trox' screenplay." I got mad a little bit and was all, "Why? do you think I'll fuck it up?!"
But we're good now still cause he acknowledged that he knew someone else liked me.. or something like that. ???
3) When Diego was trying to get laid.
He was telling everyone that they were beautiful and that he loved them. Gawd.
4) When Jay and I were left alone for a while.
I was bound to say it to him, sooner or later.. right? hahaha Jay is totally cute. I think he might like me too. A little bit ;p
5) When Kevin said we loved each other
I forgot who we were talking to, he just said it in defense to someone. And I was all like, "yea yea"..
now that I think about it, I wonder if he felt it too? Because this little charade I've been playing has been going on for quite sometime now. Wouldnt it be super if it was mutual and we were really both in love with each other? hahaha
6) When V, Max and I were on our way back
We probably said it out loud. To whoever. ;p
ate brownies. not so much. waiting for a hit. bleeeh.
at least, i can say that this batch is waaaay better than the one i ate before.
---
well, its been an hour. wtf.
nothing. i remember that last time, i felt like i was gonna die. some kind of a paranoia. now i only have wormies in my stomach. not enough to be deadly. just.. yknow.. steady. im music tripping i guess.
its okay.
where is my hit. fucka.
i live too much in my head. that's why i like writing. ive learned how to put anything and everything i feel into words.
For example,
I just found out something I didn't want to find out about a certain someone I have just started liking.
you know what. dejavu. it was exactly like this with my cheescake.
i suddenly feel like bawling my eyes out.
no one has ever told me they're in love with me. .. i mean, in THAT way.
repeatedly.
I'm sorry? I'm sorry I don't feel the same. What can I do?
I feel embarrassed because there's nothing I can say in return.
I cant help what I feel. or don't feel.
I'm really sorry that I almost wish I felt the same way.
But i don't.
I almost wish I felt the same way I do for his close friend.
I wasn't really supposed to go. My primary reason for getting up when i heard the knock was to go and try and spend nice shooting time with my supposed special someone. Or at least try and spend some time before I never see him again ever.
but he wasn't there.
I went anyway because my secondary reason was that i wanted to witness the crucifixion.
I ended up being the assistant to the director.
Film making never fails to provide me with new things to get hooked on.
We were running up and down the mountain (with my havaianas), we walked and weaved through crowds and crowds of spectators, and i got myself an addition to my media pass collection.
It was hella tiring but good gawd, i loved it.
not only did i get to witness the crucifixion up close, i was also able to learn about documentary the best way possible, hands-on.
I LOVE IT.
it is possible i have forgotten about my primary purpose... until now.
last night i saw you in my dream, now i can't wait to go to sleep
-mama, k.west
everything
I am here to appreciate the little things in life. I am here to love the little details about them.
I am here to put them down into words so that other people can appreciate and love them as well.
Music, Stories, People, Love and Life.
--
this might be due to my hormones but unlike my previous pms-posts, this one. THIS one, i will never ever deny.
They don't have it like the grammy's where they show the faces of the nominated while awaiting the actual announcement.
They just let the low rumbling sound of the drumroll pound in each and everyone's heart.
I was sitting between Trox and V, my director and producer.
I was hoping I had a shot, everyone was telling me that i did.
They were right.
They called my name while I was trying hard not to bite my nails in nervousness.
My mouth still hurts from all that smiling like this :D
thankyouthankyouthankyou.
cinemaone best screenplay 2008.
--------
oh gorgeousness and gorgeousity. i just finished a draft of the screenplay.. crossing my fingers for all the doors a single script can open.
i heart chick flicks.
I watched 27 dresses a while ago. i love it.
i think i'm gonna go hibernate and watch chick flicks the entire night until i puke.
i feel like i'm prepping for my own wedding.
but really its for my shoot.
Hey, at least the guy only has to show up, yea?
ha.
