SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

so he didnt leave pala. but uhh.. well.. i still wanna stick with it. remember that "sticking to one flavor of cake" theory i had? i want to. i do, i really really really do. its just that... well.. let's just say that my cake is still not eaten, and i'm having 2nd thoughts on the one next to it. ...but i don't want to. i want to stick with the old one. i do i do i do.

do you realize that? i wanna stick with this one, i want to stick with you.

cause seriously, if you don't move now, it means that you're not into it as much as i am.

so this is my third attempt to post the same entry. the first two times, nothing came up on the page after i've poured my heart and soul so i wont be surprised if this wouldn't be posted up either.

ANYWAY, what i was trying to say since this morning is that i was drunk last night. i decided to drink the problems about my short away. its crazy. i threw up. ick. so yea, last night. I.. well.. in my drunken state i told maxine the two people who i had my eyes on. yes, you read right, TWO. remember my old cake and the one beside it? well.. now they're equal i think.

i still want to stick with the old one.. cause.. i don't know.. i feel comfortable around him. but this new one is catching up. and he's catching up fast.

sooo yea, that was basically the gist of the entries that i tried to post. ALSO, that's why i suddenly had an eye for the one beside it is that the old one may be too flirty for me. i mean, not to me.. to yknow, muffins and chocolate lollipops. me no likey. heck, im a flirt too but yknow, it doesn't count. mine doesn't count. hahaha now the new one, i barely know him... but as i've said... he's catching up fast.

sooooo... hmmmm.... i dunno...

if tomorrow, my old cake doesn't do anything, then it's over. i really have no time for games, although they're fun. i just can't anymore.

yea.. tomorrow is d-day. should i want to stick with my first decision? or change to this new flavor that just came in who seems to know what he wants.

we'll see.

it has been a while. let me just update because i can't type very well for i was sent a virus and now my display is totally upsidedown. PAKSHET. anyway...

1) screening last night, pretty good review for my badly made movie but well-written script. hahahah

2) the drinkafter was abysmal. fucking corny. AND

3) my old cake has left for manila i think. yes? yea... i didn't hear anything i migt just be speculating but yea, he's nowhere to be seen.  i wanted him to be there to you know... i dunno.

4) someone else was there. the cake next to the old one.

5)i'm gonna miss the graduating batch!!

 6) going home to manila tomorrow. i cant wait.

the suns already up. i pulled an all nighter, i don't know why. my flights in 5 hours, i only have 3 hours to sleep. IF i will. i can't wait to get to manila to stop and reset once again. i want to see my family, my friends, my nephew.

anyway, hoohummm.... my display is still completely updside down i don't feel like writing what i should be writing here. let me get back to you when i'm already in manila.

manilllllle. PEPITO GOT FAT! he's so cute its not even funny anymore. hehe

ANYWAY, i'm back. i'm resting. i'm resting well. i will try to hibernate for as long as i could... oh yea, and in 2 days, i'm gonna turn the big 2-0. once again, i don't feel it. when did i ever anyway, right? whatever. an intimate dinner with the family would do. ladida.  

...yea?

no.. maybe not.

 

i wanna know what happened to my old cake. if he's still in cebu or here in the metro... wala lang, i just want to know. maybe here we could talk normally. haha  

Say goodnight and go.

Skipping beats,
Blushing cheeks.
I am... struggling..
Daydreaming,
Bed scenes in... the corner cafe
And then I'm left in bits recovering tectonic... tremblings
You get me every time.

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you..
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

Follow you home,
You've got your headphones on
And you're dancing
Got lucky;
Beautiful shot:
You're taking everything off
Watch the curtains wide open
And you're following the same routine;
Flicking through the TV, relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone..

Oh, why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you,
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

One of these days,
You'll miss your train,
And come stay with me...
{It's always say goodnight and go}
We'll have drinks,
And talk about things and,
Any excuse to stay awake with you...
You'd sleep here,
I'd sleep there,
But then the heating may be down again,
At my convenience...
We'd be good,
We'd be great together...

happy birthday to me.

i found out that he's still there.

i have a strong feeling that i will be learning a lot on this day, that i turn 20.

that's number 1.  

my girlfriends think i hate men, or that my standards are too high..

yesterday during dinner we were sharing secrets we've never told each other before. so i told them that during 7th grade, i liked this close friend of ours. they were shocked and they also revealed that he had plans of asking me out, BUT... i was too much of a man hater. according to their words.  

am i? am i really? because i seriously don't know.

i mean, yes maybe my first short was some sort of reflection of how i look at relationships but... WHAT THE FUCK?

i don't hate guys, i don't.. i think some are jerks and assholes, yes. but not all. 

i like guys, i enjoy hanging out with them, i love them even...

 

see now, i sound like a complete slut.

 

my birthday was okay. it was uneventful but it was cool. i enjoyed the company =D 

 

tomorrow morning, i will be back in cebu. mixed emotions really. i mean, i know i couldn't stay for long here without getting crazy... i just want to be lazy for a few more days. if you know what i mean. i'm totally not excited to go back. i mean, its cebu.. its school.. its away from the crazy.

lalala

i'm not at all excited about going back.

not excited about new stuff to learn

or about the new people to meet...

i'm not even excited about my cakes.

yes, both.

 

 btw, i ate two kinds of cakes today. the first one, a turtle pie. Chocolate, rich and creamy. good, really. the second, cookiedough cheescake. it tasted better when i first tried it with friends. i don't know who's who.. but yea.. i  ate two cakes today.

i was like, "ooh she's so cute noh?"

and they were like, "yea, she is.."

and then i saw him.

hahahahaha haha ha ha    ha             ha               ha.

 

not so funny really. that week was hell for me.

ano baaaaaaaaaa.. kinda buzzed

i'm pissed now, and sort of emotion-less. i don't know why. i just... i feel that.. ugh.

okay, i'm more than buzzed.

i hear hes not leaving the city yet, just the company.

i have a strange feeling he's reading this, yes? just like my  ssm. which is probably wrong because APPARENTLy, all of my assumptions so far, (in 20 years) have all been wrong. pakshet. i hate it.

okay so my 2 cakes, right?

there are still 2.

i'm trying to write a script tonight. you know how alcohol does wonders to myscript writing powers :D

 

OKAY, SOMEONE HAS TO MAKE THIS ONE EASY FOR ME. i wonder who will? my ny cookie dough or the turtle pie?

i don't want to be a workaholic

yes yes, i will wait. haven't i been?

since.. forever?

kagulooooooo

 

here's the deaL: i have a wet lindsay situation. for the turtle pie. and most probably for the ny cheesecake also.

tangina na naman eh!

la la la.

i'm completely hormonal right now. i might be giving off the vibe. theres a blood donation thing at school on wednesday, i'm so prepared to give blood. i hope they let me. not only does it save lives, it also looks hella cool.

la la la.

hmmm.

i scratched my eye so much that it poofed up. my left eye. damn it.

if this doesn't go back to normal, i think i have my halloween costume.

this day sucks big time.

this sucks

this sucks

this sucks

 ='(

i wanna cry really. really.

i wasn't able to donate blood, my pitch went bad. both my cakes were uneatable. or didn't want to be eaten. 2 of my closes guy friends are leaving.

=(

this sucks

i hate this day