SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

i think i have failed. no more. no more. confirmation was tonight. nothing.

NOTHING. ='(

...wait lang. let me take a shower.

ANYWAY.

..i think i said something that hurt him, or pissed him last night.

..he was 100% sober

..i wasn't

..you could only imagine that formula.

the worst part? i'm the only one to blame.

shit. i ruined it.

The Bottom Line

The connection you're developing isn't just about romance -- it's about growth.

In Detail

The connection you're developing with a new special someone is not just about romance -- it's about personal growth. It's not that they are responsible for your development as a human being, but being in a relationship with them is helping you learn new things about yourself. So whatever you do, do not pretend to be something you're not. Do not agree to a nutty thing they say when inside you're thinking 'what the heck is wrong with them?!' -- you need to be genuine if this is going to work..

seeee? seeee???

Only half of the time do you tell me just what you want
Only half of the time do you tell me just what you want
Can I get some contact?
Can I get some contact from you?
Can I get some contact with what is real?

It's the end of the night and I'm feelin' sexual
It's the end of the night and I'm feelin' sexual
Can I get some love back?
Can I get some love back from you?
Can I get some love back that you conceal?

And now I've fallen under your charm
And now I fall into your arms
It's where I feel alright

In the blink of an eye do we do what's natural
Maybe once or twice do we do what's natural
Is it just a love task?
Is it too much to ask from you?
Is it just a love task or do you feel?

And I've fallen under your charm
And now I fall into your arms

And now I've fallen under your charm
And now I fall into your arms
Where I feel alright
It's where I'll stay tonight

Only half of the time do you tell me just what you want
Only half of the time do you tell me just what you want
Can I get some contact?
Can I get some contact from you?
Can I get some contact with what is real?

 

Under your charms- Josh Rouse

today we pitched our story ideas. out of 6 stories, they're only gonna pick 3 to shoot. hmm.. i dunno where i stand, really. i have no idea where. i think they liked my story, although i don't know what they thought about how prepared i was and shit. argh.

what else.. uhm.. well.. uhhh..nothing.

my project was green lighted. i was second pick i think. pleased, excited a bit. now i have to work.

priority is film. i can't have my list all juggling around again. no no no.

you give me something that makes me scared. but I AM willing to give it a try..

FIRST PRIORITY IS FILM!!!!!!ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! KAGULOOOO!

its not saturday. i just couldn't sleep. i came home from the last day of a schoolmate's shoot. I'm definitely tired and i could use a good nights sleep, especially when i have class early next morning. i don't know, something has been keeping me up. and its not the late hours of shoot, or drinking, or whatnot. its someONE to be more accurate. i don't know. i've been withholding information for anti-jinxing reasons. we'll see this week. i definitely will make a move,however subtle it may be.

there are so many things to do.

Les was right, in this industry, your personal life suffers. the relationships you form in this community becomes your family, and the others? well. the others just won't understand. It really is wise and practical to settle with someone with the same field.

haay.

ooh, today our batch went to the set of deep gold for our sound class. we became extras. it was funny. hahaha funny and educational-of what not to do's. wahahaha anyway, yea it was an experience. at least we got a picture with MG. ahahha

this person i like. i dont know. i feel oddly comfortable around him. like, i mean i know i'm more fond of him than the others, but when he's around, i don't.. well, i make sure i'm seen. just that. also, i'm always doing something or the other way around. so the only real time we get to talk and shit is when i'm already drunk, or when he's already high.

hmmm

something tells me that it won't work.

see? i just typed it last night and in less than 24 hours, i already had to choose between my family, my social life and film.

first things first: i was supposed to go home this friday night for arend's birthday and to see Pepito finally. BUT a while ago, i was emergency casted for a thesis shoot that will last until saturday.

THEN, i was told that my story was great but my production design plan was bullshit compared to the other 2 that was chosen.

on OCT. 6, im AD-ing my closest friends shoot which happens to be Pepitos christening as well.

KAMUSTA NAMAN, GOD?

I Can't unwind even if i wanted to.

that i'm falling in love. because i'm not. i don't even have butterflies. i just feel abnormally comfortable. yea. it's so normal, i don't know if its abnormal. ugh.

..so he wants to play... mwaaaahaaahahaaaaaaaa.

..... it's game time  

i just found out news that i didn't necessarily want to hear. i seriously still don't know how to react to it. damn.

nothing.

people make mistakes.

i'm a person, i make mistakes too.

an assumption i made turned out to be completely wrong. i'm not super sad or anything, tonight helped a lot to ease whatever pain i have to be feeling, really. it did. i mean, yea. might as well do it now than later, when it's too late. it's better this way, when i'm completely busy with school. it's good timing actually.

perfect.

yea. you win.

just cant be with someone who puts you as a high 2nd priority.  i understand. it's always like that.

i almost forgot. i'm shooting my short tomorrow. i'm abnormally calm.

see? i mean, i was more bothered by this petty thing (previous post), but i'm completely calm about the most important day this term..

WHY? why is that. why why why why why why why why why why why.

yes, i have a break. gone for a while i believe. at least i can take a breather. although i dont know how it'll be when he gets back.

it might just be the time of the month and the hormones speaking. but i told maxine that i like someone.. and that someone is the same someone i've been liking for quite a while now.

fucker. and now he's out of town and i can't confirm or deny anything.

bullshit.