SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

the screening yesterday was.... uhh.. very intoxicating. let me just say, me pia and maxine were NOT sober from 4pm to 4am. i think we had rave reviews, yea? three queens na to! hahahahaha

no but seriously, the barbeque after was filled with controversial things, AS USUAL ehem ehem, max and the don making out, ahhahahahahahaha! totally totally totally funnnneeee because max and i were discussing it the morning after. hahaha i met a lot of new people too. well not really new people, more like interacted with them more (ie kongkong, maCKY and keith) uhh what else. oh. here in manila. love it love it love it. :D

time to STOP AND RESET!!

GAWD. first minute i spent in manila, i was already coughing my lungs out. good grief. still am. but i'm better. was in bed the entire weekend. ANYHOOOOOS, the weather... the weather is absolutely horrendous and at the same time lovely. you know me and my secret love affair with the rain. i woke up to a thunderstorm a while ago. i abso-fucking-lutely love it.  what else. been dodging my cebu friends. hehe ITS RAINY! ITS TIME TO BE LAZY! Besides, its not like we won't see each other soon. hahahaha

lalala. i just finished reading georgia nicholson's 9th. FABBITY FAB FAB. made me want a constant sex god, yknow? like maybe i should get into the cake store of love and get me a big round one. or a rectangular one. so it'll last longer? cause yea, the previous cake visits i only get a piece. and i found myself going back often. i think i want to settle with one flavor... for a long time.

i have already tried most recently the chinese muffin, turned out it was on display for far longer than it looks; the drugaddict brownie special was too... uhhhh.. well, not very addicting. it was repelling. and then, well the in betweens were chocolate lollipops i don't know if i'm buying again.

BUT i know for a fact that in exactly 4 days, the cake shop will have a lot of new flavors to choose from. SO.... i don't know...  i hope to find the new flavor that i will stick with for a long time in that bunch. 

 

=) 

tomorrow is the 4-07 orientation. i received a forwarded email addressed to them, i found myself getting.. uhhh unusually overly excited for their coming.

the cake shop of luuurve's new shipment has just arrived.  

...

so i put my arms around you

and i hope that i will do no wrong,

my eyes are on you

and i hope that you won't hurt me.

 

I'm dancing in the room

as if i was in the woods with you.

No need for anything but music,

music's the reason why,

i know time still exists.

time still exists.

-dancing, elisa.

---

I may have posted that previously.

FUCKING HOT + he's biting his lower lip. i just died.

when did he shed off that highschool musical look and become THAT? oi.

forgive the white dots, got it from Perezhilton.com.

WHY ISN'T IT ON GOOGLE?? anyhooo, yes.. hot tea.

while we're on the subject of people who turn me on, the acoustic version of The Kill by 30 seconds to mars. JARED LETO'S VOICE is DIVINE!!!! the first time i heard it, my heart stopped beating. if i could throw my bra at him, i would. goodness.  

 

i went out last night with April and her crazy ass friends. They don't get tired! i was just bobbing along to hiphop and they were still dancing like crazy! i love the energy though, effin crazy. hahahaah anyway, wasn't at all drunk last night, my magic potion has failed me there was this one weird moment though, one of her friends, angelo i believe his name is, he pulled me from across the circle and just started dancing behind me. i danced a bit, then turned around, danced a bit more and i was like, "i'm tired" and danced beside him. hahah he took the hint. heeeheeeheeeheeeee. sorry.

what else what else, her gay friend hooked up with someone on the dancefloor. no. as in, they were on the dancefloor hooking up. it was a very traumatic sight, seeing two boys make out. i wonder what it mustve been like for the guys. although, what the hell, they're young and extremely horny. someone got laid last night i think. haha

going back to cebu tomorrow. GAWD, i hope april comes back.

so i have less than 24 hours before i fly back to cebubu land. uhh.. the excitement from a few days back? gone. dunno where it went. now i'm all antsy. and well.. uhhh... that's pretty much it. although if i stayed here, i would probably die to go back there. so you know. plus, if i don't leave what the fucking hell will i do here?   

*ssm--> i saw a friend of yours last night, i think he was surprised that i was here.. or with how i look. i dunno, either or.. you might know about it soon..might not. 
i saw you in a magazine today too. haha. awkward. but nice.  

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? 'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise. Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my soulful cries. Does my haughtiness offend you? Don't you take it awful hard 'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines Diggin' in my own back yard. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise. Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I've got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of history's shame I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise.

back here. met a few of the first termers already. its cool. i mean, yea.. one was incredibly good looking, it seemed too good to be true-probably is. hes giving off that aga muhlach vibe, yknow? hahah anyway, school starts today, lots and lots of new mentors and people. i don't feel like wowing anyone today. bleh.

okay. sooo uhhh just found out from someone that "they're" planning a round 2 on max. those fucking pervs. she's being taken advantage of. damn that horny asshole.

right now racking my brain for new story ideas. Zack, our new screenwriting teacher is intense. he's great and all but he's like rob in a sense that he's very meticulous. as in, he dissects every single thing. which is great, really.. i just.. i can't.... ARGH...

writers block. writers block.. i hate it..

i've written a total of 4 lines.

how productive

i'm super close to opening my fridge and downing a shot of rum. argh.

ive slept on it. i've read, listened to music. talked to my friends. none still. i need a first draft by tuesday. 6 pages. i still have 4 lines.

i need inspiration.. and its just not coming. i think.

i lose, even before it started. ugh. and to get beat by the dirtiest girl in Cebu. hmmmmm...

well, its me and my movies against the world again.

its so funny how i believe so much in the stars. i mean, i don't let them run my life but whenever i can relate to it... well, i relate to it. heres what it says today

fine! i admit it. i like him, okay? i do i do i do. there. happy? can you please let me work now?

 

DAMN IT.

im afraid to find out that i'm no good.

that someone will say, "she's not really a filmmaker, she's wasting her parents' money here"

...

my friends were talking about working in teams when the scripts get chosen. they said we do what were best at, and everyone agreed. problem is, what am i best at? here, yet again.

i want to be a producer. but even my classmates don't trust me to be.

i can be a writer. but i just spew out one good story per term.

i can direct actors. but i can only do that if my own script gets chosen

i absolutely cannot be a dp. no. just no.

fuck

i posted my short in multiply and youtube. my idol/friend saw it. he didn't say anything. primarily because i kept bouncing around but mostly because he had nothing to say.

i'm afraid that no one likes it.

i might not be the filmmaker i want to be.

they're just saying that they like my short cause i'm nice.. or my dad's in the military.

after my previous entry, i go to the tiki bar and drink my woes away. not like it does anything but yknow.... ,yknow... i'm fucking drunk. and he's not there. not there.

he has a shoot. somewhere. i was thinking of whether or not i should tell someone about this. but yea, i didnt since i would probably regret it when i wake up.

yea. id on't know if it stil holds up. whatever.

whoaaa daddy. i was just re reading what i typed last night. hahahahaha kalowka, drunken blog.

i hope i didn't say anything that i shouldn't last night. i'm being very chatty now when i get drunk. ugh. craps.  

i think i may have been digging myself deeper underground.

i was steady tonight. i wanted him to be there and maybe see if what i think we have is still okay without alcohol or weed.

i mean.. yea.

fucking tragic. my entire life is a fucking movie.

 

it's totally weird this triangle i am in. firstly, its an unofficial unspoken triangle and it may only be two way. i'm the only one making it a triangle. second, the two corners are friends and don't know they're there. the other base corner of the triangle and i have phone numbers that are way WAY WAAAAY too close to each other, its not even funny anymore.. and she knows my room, the first person i saw today, in fact.  when i specifically said i don't want her near my home.

totally totally unusual.

... yes yes... i have to stop.. for me.