SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

and now i'm back to my old cynical self.

i don't wanna go back to school. i really don't.

today wasn't a very good day.

went to get my medical exam.. stayed there for almost the entire day with no food and no sleep.... and get this: i was completely alone

and now i have to go back there tomorrow to get injected with drugs.

fucking a. not only that, i have to fix my passport, get a police clearance, fix my stuff with NSO TOMORROW!!

and to top it all off- my schedule for next term is fucking ugly!!!!! argh! steph and i don't have any common classes or breaks! what the hell! i hate this.. i don't wanna go back to school yet!

i am panicking.. i have problems with my passport. damnit. i'm going gaga for connections. I've talked to my dad, kuya rommel, everyone. damn. i hope they come through before wednesday...

ANYWAY, was in school a while ago to get my eaf. I found myself blurting out my frustrations to ate. If they knew how unhappy i was there they would wonder why i'm still alive. Okay, no.. i'm not THAT unhappy but hell, i don't want it to get to that point. That is why... i am leaving. I realized too that that would be a leap of faith. no fallbacks whatsoever. Here i am again, forcing to get out of my comfort zone. that makes me brave though, right? plus if i don't fight for this I might end up having a desk job and be required to wear corporate attire everday. GOD FORBID.

my sg might be gay. or he is arranged to marry this girl... whatever. Id rather he be gay though.

This week went by like a blur especially because i've spent half of it at the DFA and the U.S. Embassy. I've also been existing solely on my multivitamins, redbull and coffee to keep me up. I may develop some sort of caffeine disease that i may die from later on but hey, at least i'm awake right?

My classes are alright. For starters my accounting teacher is called Mike Cortez. how funny is that. Then after that is my relstwo class in the Eng building where I am but one of the 3 legit girls out of a strong 30+ population. nyay. Then its my PE with my friends finally.. then my night class with Yzma. seriously. yzma from emperors new groove. ... On TH are my math classes and kaspil with my very diverse and crazy groupmates. Anyway, so far its been smooth. so far. Im still sane i think. hahahah the only thing i'm thinking of right now is Cebu and the states. my pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.

 

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everytime i hold back i feel it.

I can smell Cebu.. I can feel it... i can taste it (nye)... I can see it.

I can't wait to go there. Like i've said before, im taking this leap of faith, no fallbacks whatsoever. I have no excuses this time. I'm sick and tired of having a plan B and settling for it if something goes array with my first plan. I'm sticking to Plan A. nothing else will do.

I think i've already done whatever i needed to do in dlsu, its time for me to go on to another place to spread the love. hahah I can't wait. if i can drop everything tomorrow, id be on the plane to cebu by thursday. or wednesday night for that matter.

This is the most sure ive been about something in a long time. I don't think anything can hold me back now.

its been a while.

i think i just said goodbye to my sg forever. my first real shot at being emotional the entire week. not that it matters, i'm convinced he's gay. so there. so much for that shot at sentimentality.

 

i typed an entry a while back. it was harsh. good thing something happened and the post didn't follow through. i was just about to justify what i said. i wasn't gonna delete it because lets be honest here, that was one of my best freewritten pieces. it was about her queen majesty and how she was in the warpath. my warpath. anyway, i'm cool, calm, collected... and drugged.