SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

Last night was a really fun night with the girls.. i missed them a whole lot.. :D we talked, and laughed and shared stories..i liked that

No homework for tonight.. hoorah hoorah..i am feeling incredibly weird though. still restless as ever.

i'm doing fine in school.. not bad, not super good.. just fine.. i couldn't really place a finger on it. i feel so fucking weird.

Lasalle lost.. boohooo... although i was expecting it.. anyway, it was uber uber fun watching it live with fellow fans. :D

haaay, i failed my math quiz too.. such a hassle.. i hate it.. :c boooo...

sooo.. hmm what else..oy pota... the lights just went out.. check on ya later.

watched corpse bride.. nice nice.. too short.. just an hour 20.. I still love Tim Burton. hmmm.. today was okay.. Although mons' wallet and ipod got stolen.. drank with her in plato [mental note: their punyeta tastes good] semi-bonded with krisha and dani also(spread your wingsss).. hahaa! funeeeee! hmmm what else what else.. class was okay.. boring as usual.. accounting was crazy.. Baby C. ter.. waaahahahaha!! kalowka.. i'm extra stressed about my debut... it's just a week away. what if no one shows up? what if no one'll enjoy? what if everyone's bored? what if? it is driving me insanely crazier than i already am.

hmmmm.... my nose is getting stuffy. i think i'm catching a cold. Papers and quizzes are starting to pile in, i'm trying to keep my cool..

note the TRYING part.

Anyway, I think i'm doing fine in all aspects of life. hahaha weird.. but yea, i think i am. I'm physically okay [except for that cold bit], My Social life is steady, I am emotionally stable... ??? ahahahah yes i am.. what else what else oooh.. there's this one thing i've recently realized though, for the first time in who-knows-how-long, I am NOT looking for... well.. for anyone.

and i'm okay with it..

???

I am now officially sick. cruds to the nth degree.

I attended this sort of Writing seminar at school today, i was supposed to be in cinematography but they fucking dissolved it. Anyway, it wasn't bad... it made me think of my writing....and how i've never really followed through. I have countless notebooks [pretty ones at that] which have stories in them, that i've never really finished... or refused to finish anyway.

I've never really heard of the speaker before, but from what she read from her stories, i can tell she was a good writer. I spent the whole 3 hours checking off my mental "I'm-like-that-too" checklist and realized that I was like her too.. only, I'm not as passionate as she says i should be...

I have other things to do, i remember thinking, besides i'm not really a writer.

or am I?

------

Who am i kidding?

I'm not for essays...

i am for the short, unrhyming world

of free-verse

and all it's choppiness

so last night wasn't bad.. it was infact, fun and fast. I hope my guests had fun.. i liked that i only had my close friends there.. no one impersonal the embassy after wasn't what i was expecting.. i thought they were gonna go inside the club.. chill lang pala.. it was okay actually, cause i was broke, on the night of my party.. haha! yea, chilled with my dlsu friends and then with my csa friends... kulit.. i missed us yea.. i was sssoooo tired after that but still went to jaipur and managed to bob along to the sounds..

 

Couldn't have had a better party than last night.. :D

I swear i felt like i was gonna die a while ago.. my brain was throbbing, i didn't know how to react to it..i didn't wanna take meds cause i might just drop dead or something. It still hurts by the way, i don't know what the fuck's wrong with me.

Incredible school load given to us today. 4 papers, 2 quizzes on thursday. damn it. i feel so fucking stressseeeedddd!!! gaaaaaahhh

It means exactly just that. I want him when I can't have him... well i can..it's just that.. it's weird now, it's different. I don't know what happened.

I think i've met my match. My hands are ready to grab him by the throat and yet I don't do it. I can and I want to.. but I don't. and I don' t understand why. ____ Sometimes i think he feels exactly the same way. Well of course, that's what I think, reality is a totally different story.

My papers not even halfway done.... i'm already sick of it. I still have 3 more to go. ... this sucks ice. I've practically isolated myself for the past week, not to mention this weekend AND i even brought the fucking laptop to Ateneo to do it. So picture this, a while ago i was half cheering for arend and typing about.... ME... heheh weird...  gaaah... i wish dani wasn't busy so i could ask her to help me.. (wink, wink) hahaha!

ANYHOOOs i've got to stop this... thing... that i'm doing... GOT. TO. STOP. IT. i'm like gritting my teeth right now.

I wanna finish this fucking paper already but its so fucking hard to write if you're not feeling it!

i need to go to the beach.......... right................now.......... oohhh can't wait to get those basketball tickets from joji!! they better be floor seats! hahahah i'll put in a good word for ya! ;D hooohummmity...

MIDTERMS THIS WEEK! putangina.......poootanginnnaaaa. This is such a fucking hassle! oh and i also failed that last accounting quiz, and that socio quiz, and probably that physics quiz too. Not to mention, i already failed that first math one. fuck it... I need to redeem myself! nyaahaa... 

I am so not a business student. give me art, and english, and creative writing...not COMATH or ACCOM... gaaarrrrrr... 

okay, i've ranted enough.. i shall bury myself in microsoft word once again.. i shall update you when...or IF... i come out for air.

ciao 

my left temple is throbbing.. only after 20 minutes of writing... and i am getting eaten alive by effin flies!!! you think i should call it a day??? i think i'm gonna put the laptop beside my bed, just incase i wake up in the middle of the night with a miracle cure for my chopped up personality profile. Did i mention that all i have are 4-5 long paragraphs not related to one another?? i've got to smoothen it out.. soon.. ...well hello, baileys, stolichnaya and kahlua, we meet again....

I am tempted to check... i probably will.. i'm just airing out my frustrations. I wanna go to the beach.

I AM DONE!!!! or i think i am.. i'm just gonna edit it tomorrow... gaaaaah.... i think i'm gonna go and sleep a little....

Irresistable... i hate it

it undermines my resisting powers

I think we're gonna go to the beach on the 11th-13th. I can't wait! It has been too tooo tooooo long since i last stepped on the sands of zamba.. :D can't wait to make new memories too

it's driving me crazy.. i'm telling you... this is unfair... i need to unwind and i need to do it fast. i am about to cry again... release tears i've been holding on to for who-knows-what. i'm trying my very best to not go there again... i cannot do that- AGAIN..

i'm so fucking pissed right now you have got no idea..

get back to you after i've finished that FUCKING METHODOLOGY I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO!!!!!!!!!

phew... glad THAT'S DONE... still so pissed... now i'm thrown off my math streak.. (hahah yea, as if. ) i didn't mind writing it, it's the telling me the last minute that pisses the hell off of me.. get this: JUST BECAUSE THEY DON' T KNOW THE FORMAT.

wtf... i hate group work. they better kiss my feet tomorrow...  

Well midterms are over. i can safely say that i failed the second part of the accounting midterms... pakshet.

Anyway... today... got accessories for nano.. gonna wait for the nano itself though... they don't have the 4gb anywhere! boooo.. what the hell. yea... today.... there's this classmate of mine who was extra cute today.. hehe no, not HIM.. he was himself... he lost it...

or i did..i don' t care..

i really don't.

did i already write about thursday? after school? heheh no? waaaah!

so i cut physics right? went straight to plato to "drink a little" (as i promised myself) but ended up being so effin drunk. never been drunk like that before too.. what a funny feeling.. hahaha anyway, regretted it after a few hours. couldn't stand the sight of any form of alcohol that day..  haaaaay, i only stayed long because well... because you know what. hehe basta basta eheh... good thing i didn't like throw up. although i did feel throw uppy. funnneeeee

let's see if that out of sight out of mind thing from psych works...

mika's dinner thing was fun. had lotsa laughs with the gang... we were almost complete!..

cream last night.. didn't want to but yea... fun fun..with the fpg. its so hard to dance to house man... ate and i wished we were in jaipur where it was hiphop.. ahahah. but yea, first year to cream wasnt that bad. had super super fun nung last 30 minutes na. that was when the alcohol hit me, and i efc was JUST THERE... hahahah loved it.

craps.. i think i'm gonna have to work for it...

work HARD...

do i want it that much?

this boy is so damn lucky but he doesn't know it.