SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

December 3rd, 2004

EVEN MORE THAN BEFORE

I miss my friends. now, even more than before. i miss the people who, in one way or another, make me feel like they have my back. they may pretend, but let me tell you, it's better to have someone waste time on you to pretend, than you have no one at all. Im fussing because i'm the type of person who needs constant affirming. its like, i live to hear affirmations. thats how insecure i am. well, its not even insecurity, i'm just really, naturally, like that. and i need a true, sincere one right about now. i need to know that i have a purpose... that i have a part. i can't sit and let the whole world pass by without me knowing, what nice thing i did to help make the world extra special... i know it sounds vain, but i need it. now, more than before..

Currently listening to: let me love you
Currently reading: the tale of desperaux
Currently feeling: "i wanna get high"

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 04:07 AM | criticize please

December 8th, 2004

DAMN IT

I wanna cry.. but theres no reason to cry. i miss my friends so much, but i 'm glad i'm here. i was looking back to the first few months of my arrival. i was a complete and total wreck compared to me now. i want to stay here forever, where i can be whoever i want to be.. no one cares, no one knows me.. but i wanna go back. go back to what i left and start from there. is that possible? but the future is here. not there.
im feeling something i cannot explain... like always... i am sooo confused. and whats sorry is that i don't know what i'm confused about. damn it.

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 07:19 AM | 1 as long as its constructive

December 9th, 2004

PURE BS

i can't believe i am addicted to laguna beach. i dunno if they already have it in the phils but i know that i like it. daymn. i so know its scripted so i dunno what i like about it. maybe its stephen.. cause he's cute.. or maybe the storyline cause its really interesting.. or maybe because its sort of semi-real.. and they are my age.. and.. i dunno... maybe.. maybe.. i think it can happen to me too... shit

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 09:20 AM | criticize please

December 11th, 2004

PERFECT TIMING

i picked the PERFECT timing to go online and learn that i am the only single being left in the whole wide world...
i am still emotionless by the way. is it like the flu? i have been this way for weeks now.. heck, months. Someone up there must be feeling funny because he's picking on me.... - i just want you to know.. its not fun anymore.

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 09:44 PM | criticize please

December 12th, 2004

AMERICAS NEXT TOP MODEL

My sister and i have conquered season 3 of ANTM.... 11 hours straight. no stopping.. infront of the TV...our brains rotting slowly.. but we did it. we watched the whole of season 3 in one day. now i want to be a model.. haha!

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 11:50 PM | criticize please

December 15th, 2004

SENIORITY

ate ro just got here from the phils. we missed her terribly. anyway, i got some stuff from my friends back home too... i treasure everything. but the most popular one would probably be the cheering cd. my whole family watched the pre/post-cheering mini movies some of my guy friends threw together. it was hella funny. i have never laughed like that in days!!! it made me miss them even more...

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 12:55 PM | criticize please

December 17th, 2004

FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE

today was the ncc christmas party.overall, i had a blast. i was having fun with my family and friends.... and for once, i felt secure. ryan was there, 'A' was there (canoodling with another girl by the way and they sat in our table) and i was FINE. i truly was.

and i feel happy... my friends from the philippines just called and it made me happier... i was looking my best and that made me happier still. i love this feeling... i am over all that drama and i love it. i love it. i love it.

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 10:34 AM | criticize please

December 22nd, 2004

bien

Hi.... i just posted something in friendster that made me all sentimental and happy in a weird sort of way. it was like asking for stuff you did this year.. its a year ender bulletin.. and then before i knew it, i was browsing through some of my close friends' profiles... i miss them a whole lot. i do.. i really really do.

i got my interterms too.. not good. not good...

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 10:19 AM | criticize please

December 24th, 2004

ITS CHRISTMAS EVE

its almost 2am.. its officially christmas eve. i am honestly NOT feeling it. honestly... and i am worried-sick about college.. and the future and what it might hold for me. let me rephrase that... the future and what it might NOT hold for me.

right now, my spirits are EXTRA LOW. because i KNOW for a fact that colleges in the phils will not admit me. and i'm not just saying that. when i get the letter from ateneo saying that i'm not accepted, i will probabaly have to mail in my application form for the academy. and my parents have no choice but to pay for my extremely expensive tuition. how about that for a christmas gift.

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 02:47 PM | criticize please

December 25th, 2004

THIS CHRISTMAS

its 10:30 and i just downed a fourth of ben and jerry's chocolate fudge brownie :D it'll be good till midnight. mass is at midnight. like, exactly at midnight. isn't that nice.

anyway, i still am not feeling it, by the way. its so weird, and what so weird too is that i read my horoscope and it said i should say yes to anything. i wonder what i'll say yes to....

and i'm still worried sick about my college stuff... hoooohummmmm.... hoooooohummmmmhoooooohummmmm.....and i miss my friends a whole lot. i wanna go see them.

Currently listening to: this christmas
Currently feeling: toothache and sugar rush

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 11:29 AM | criticize please

December 27th, 2004

WHITE MONSOON

8 hours
of this powdery white stuff
8 hours, you would think thats enough
8 hours of shivering from head to toe,
8 hours of this thing we all call snow.
8 hours, 2 of which spent walking
around bellvue ave, the mansions, gawking.
8 hours, next 2 of which spent throwing,
pelting snowballs, fingers numbing.
8 hours , it won't stop falling
its just like at home
8 hours of raining.

Currently listening to: let it snow
Currently reading: series of unfortunate events

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 12:59 PM | criticize please

December 31st, 2004

NYC

i'm at NJ right now. with the relatives. we walked around the city again.... actually, what we did was walk up and down times square, eat at fridays then go ice skating at central park! aahahahahhaha that was sooo much fun. it was my first time to skate. i loved it. my feet hurt, but i loved it :D

a few days ago we were at this outlet store. where i walked into a post. a solid, cement post. now i have a scar right under my left eyebrow. how about that. haha. embarassing but true. what can you do.. hahahah uhhmmmmmmm..... what else. uhm.. yesterday, i called sassa. found out most of my friends got in la salle. i'm so scared for my college right now you've got no idea. honestly? ateneo is the ONLY college i'm planning to apply to. and if i don't get in ateneo? i'm screwed. i don't have a fall back whatsoever. no ateneo, no college, no future. i am screwed..

Posted by angelfyre_bubi at 11:09 AM | criticize please