SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

fuck you ryan
look what you have done
someone else had the guts you didn't
now it can't be undone
i liked you ryan
i know you liked me too
i was hoping you felt it
apparently you had no clue
its such a shame ryan
what we could've shared
but thanks to your stupidity
now i do not care.

thats right. i don't like him anymore. hehe glad to get out a bit of angry me. anyway, last night was uncalled for. my inner slut let loose. i guess thats self-explanatory.......

we were watching vh1's inside out and then they suddenly played changes-ginuwine.. i just started tearing up.. cause today was the first time i heard that song since i found out "sp" wrote it on the music list junior year. i have been waiting for so long to hear that song to confirm things.. but i just heard it here.. and now.. sooo i dunno how exactly to react to that. i'm glad i heard it here..

hohummmmm... i am bored. i am once again frustrated. not emotionally. its because of my fucking psych project.
i hate it.
i don't know how to do it.
i hate it, i hate my teacher, i hate that class.
i swear.
i hate jelly fishes too.
argh.

i think i'm gonna have my period soon.

i need something to bitch about. i need someone to bother. i need someone...

i dreamt that i was in PF with my friends, but its set up like the rows of restaurants in GB3.. weird.. but it was like that.
i have a confession to make:
Im glad i'm here. yes, i miss my friends VERY VERY MUCH... but i don't feel like i'm away from them. i feel like i've been living here all my life. its just like i left and moved down the street. i feel so comfortable its scaring me... i don't know how to feel about this once again... bummer

i can't wait for the arizona trip... i don't feel anything.. why is that? have i turned into this stone person again? i have no feelings whatsoever

am i the official advise giver for these forlorn guys in CSA? for once, id like to talk about my OWN love problems.. not someone elses... although i enjoy helping them.. its just that it make me wonder when i would get to complain about my own....

The Arizona trip wasn't that bad. infact, it was fun.. for some people... i was.. lets just say, fluctuating. AS USUAL. i loved the break though.. it was something no one can take away from me.... even that perfect girl. i hate her. i hate that she's so nice to everyone and so pretty and so friendly, and i hate that i can't hate her... thus, making me hate her more. she steals everyone, from my prospects to my friends... ugh! (well, she really doesn't.. but you know..) i hate it that i can't find legit reasons to hate her! isn't this nice... i'm just admitting to the whole wide world that i'm insecure...

well.. im bored.. i aint gonna go to school tomorrow- again! heheh this time, its for a real reason.. im gonna have 8 teeth pulled out. isn't that nice. 4 for my braces and 4 wisdom... daymn... all of that right before thanksgiving. wow. im scared. good thing i'm gonna get sedated. there is no way in the world i would wanna be awake for 8 extractions... in 2 hours.. lets see how swollen my mouth gets.. daymn... and i also have this blod clot on my finger...damn that toy gun.. heheh twas my fault anyway. im kinda scared. first major operation in my life ever. . . its not even considered major... images are in www.photosnibubi.blogspot.com

well... got from the hospital... the sedation was wonderful.. and i'm not just saying that. it was like legal weed or sumn like that. i didn't even feel a thing! of course i'm gonna be dying from pain once the anesthesia comes out but yea.. its fun while its here.. hehehehheheheheehhe sheeeett.... i wan't more drugs like that...

when some people get allergic reactions, they get rashes and turn red all over. me? my eyes blow up. i just found out i'm allergic to swiss miss chooclate pudding. how about that. 8 extractions, 2 poofy eyes, and a bloody mouth. happy thanksgiving!

I have never released this much blood in my entire life. i probably spewed out about a cup and a half of blood. i'm like a blood machine. i have blood coming out of my 8 teeth holes, this wound i have behing my earring hole, and the blood clot from last night- that and i'm seriously drugged, my eyes are still poofy and i can't smile regularly. sorry, too much information but this is my blog so shut up. i THINK we're going to DC tomorrow... after the parents' big fight.. hmmm.. wonder how it'll turn out to be.