SUNKISSED BRONZED PERFECTION

arend just got home from school a few minutes agooo. i bombarded him with first day questions: "what happened?" "did you have fun?" "what did you do today?" all those things... he said it was okay. i mean, it has to be okay!! he's just in first grade!!! its not like he's in fucking highschool..

i can feel my heart in my throat. i have a feeling i'll throw it out soon when the pounding stops. IF the pounding stops. i thought i could handle the anxiety... i am freaking out here! my hands are shaking.
worse than before.. my head is so crammed. i will faint soon. i am scared

no. i really am.

it wasn't good. it wasn't bad either. let me tell you the 411:

-there were 2 younger guys following me to HR.
-i was the first one in HR.
-met KAT/CAT the german foreign exchange student
-went down to the cafeteria because i have no schedule!
-stayed in the cafeteria for 1 hour ++ alone.
MEANWHILE:
-eyeing "quicksilver" (christopher cotta-oh yea... found out who he was).. extremely cute.. doe eyes, tall.. my grade :D
-made a mental note to write here
-doodled in my handbook
-caught quick glances toward quicksilver
AND THEN:
-met louise (10th grader. looks like the foreign exchange student in CSA, charlotte. aussy. nice accent.) and carolina (new student also. from california. 11th grade but she's older than me) and rosalina (10th grade. nice and pretty. "blonde personality") and i forgot the other ones name...
-went to the gym to sit some more and stare at people (still no sched)
-went back to the caf for lunch
-stayed there until 20 mins before dis.
-fixed my sched and found out photography was already full so i had to sub it with commercial design and i have piano... daymn

its not exactly how they portray it in the movies or shows but it's similar. they have punks, geeks (im not being mean, they really ARE GEEKS, irritating freshmen, the cool girls (who i noticed were all wearing skirts today), the jocks (surprisingly without their varisty jackets) and foreign kids. like me. heheh it wasn't at all bad.. it's just the heat that's getting to me..its kinda neat though.. i mean, at least i already have friends. but compared to my life before, this was the WORST first day ever.

well, day 2 was definitely better! like better better. at least i got to all 4 classes today, even if i had to make endless trips to the guidance... BUT, my scheds still not fixed. my last period today was supposed to be study hall but when i got to the room, it was US History 1 with all these irritating sophomores. ANYWAY, lemme tell you how it went.

HR: talked to cat.. she's kewl.. chris is in my HR.. but i don't think i like him anymore.. he's got this vibe that i don't like in him... anyway, mr. burns told the people with no scheds to go down to the caf, so i went there AGAIN. and then ms. schea? whatev. she fixed my sched. but when i got to guidance, they passed me to this incredibly nice lady and we fixed it. BUT, i was still missing 4th and 8th period. so i had to go back. ms. schea was all "you're here again?!" and i was like, "yea.. heheh" .. but this happened like in the afternoon

1st PERIOD, COMMERCIAL DESIGN: kewl subj. met christine? christina? she's also filipino. she's the cheerleader capt. and she's nice. i thought she was bitchy. hmmm.. also met jessie, funny girl, kinda loud. but she's alright. uhm.. i got a couple of compliments about my name that it was pretty and shit.. and they also liked my bag and my shoes. (thanks chux!)

2nd PERIOD, PIANO: now i like piano. the teacher and the students in it were fun. i was the only girl. there were like 4 of us in it. but it's still kewl. .hahaha

3rd PERIOD, ENGLISH: ms. yentsch. hmmmm... this is an okay class i gues.. not bad, i was with my own grade and shit.. its cool.

4th PERIOD, STUDY/US HISTORY 1: i really don't know which one it is coz they all got it fucked up. so whatever. i'm gonna go fix it tomorrow.

well, i still don't know when lunch is soooooo i'll guess i 'll just go with the flow! definitely better than 1st day.

just came home from the fireworks thingy...
i realized i had to be more OUT THERE
i don't have real regular friends right now...
i hate it...
the ncc kids look all happy when their together... plus columbian boy is still here.. thought he brought his drugs back home

i want out

Night and day i seek your face
long for you in your secret place
all i want in this life is to truly know you more

as the water covers the sea
so your love covers me
guiding me on roads unknown
i trust in you alone

my saving grace
my endless love
deeper and deeper
i'm falling in love with you
my one desire
my only truth
deeper and deeper
i'm falling in love with you

well.. had a columbian boy sighting. heheh i remember feeling all giddy and shit. i dunno.. its like #1 all over again.. only taller and cuter and foreign whatever. i don't wanna go to school on tuesday. its not that its miserable. i just don't wanna go. good thing i have psych first thing on tuesday. maybe i'll meet sensible people there.

its was sooo cold today.. like sooo freaking cold....

You're Elemant is Wind. You're light-hearted,
care-free, kind, sensative, and mysterious. You
have friends and most absolutely love you. You
can be calm and soothing one minute and ragging
in anger the next so no one wants to get on
your bad side. You're beauty is inspiring and
magical.


What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla

righteous.

right. part 1 was whisked away into the blackhole of the world wibe web so the energy i put into writing that masterpiece was wasted. here i go again.

anyway, as i said in part 1, i had major problems with my locker. right combination, no lift. i do not understand. now i am dreading the time that i will confront that forsaken locker again. (which will be tomorrow morning). i hate it. uberly hate it. i looked like a complete jerk trying to open my fucking locker. not to mention my carrying 3 humongo books all around school. lets just hope no one noticed. actually, i try my best to visit my locker when there are less people around...

otherwise, my day was okay.

fuck it.

the fucking gloves are coming off.

i still can't open my stupid locker. and it's not funny anymore. i asked my teacher to open it for me a while ago, but when i tried it. nothing. still no lift. i feel so frustrated it's not laughable. that was just the cherry to my oh so miserable day (don't get me started, tears are already welling up my eyes) . :#
this is the kind of day that makes me regret leaving the philippines. i hate it so much.

compared to yesterday, my day was okay. i opened my locker at least. i dunno.

it's like i don't want to go to school anymore...i'm dreading every part of it. i'm scared that a teacher might scold me or ridicule me. actually, i already had 2 teachers do that. my piano teacher and my physics teacher. now, i know i'm extra sensitive so maybe to other people it wasn't such a big deal. but guess what, it was to me.

don't even get me started on lunch breaks... its like the worst time of the day. at least when i'm in class i get some learning done. it's the longest 30 minutes of my life. it really is. i hate it sooo much. i can't help but compare it with the lunch time in CSA with my friends, with our usual table and our usual noise... i miss them so much. i am totally totally homesick. i wanna go back. i know i sound pathetic. but what can i do... there are only 2 people in the whole school who actually say hi to me. stef and kristine. both filipinas.

is this culture shock or what?! i'm sorry, but if this is your idea of a joke, its not funny.

i wanna go back. i really really really wanna go back.

no harsh comments. but i couldn't concentrate on anything. i was feeling so sorry for myself, i started fighting back tears so early in the morning.. i hate it. i hate it so much. and it didn't help that i didn't know if the new friends i thought i had, were really to be considered REAL friends.

the seniors lost cheering
i am feeling my absolute worst
i feel so sorry for myself
i can't concentrate on anything i do
i miss my real friends
i miss csa
i'm alone

i want to go back

i wanted to get away from everyone. i did. i got away. and now i want it back. YOU NEVER MISS A GOOD THING UNTIL IT LEAVES YOU. you never do. i can't do this anymore

LIBRA — Sep. 12 By Rick Levine
yesterday | today | tomorrow

You Librans are normally quite the social animals and today is no exception. But something is not quite in tune today and it can be very distracting. It's like there's an ongoing argument between what you want and how you are going to get it -- and both sides are coming from within you. Listen carefully to your thoughts, but don't talk yourself into thinking that you need to make a decision today.

a week after my most famous breakdown.

still alive

can't move

columbian boy not columbian

miss my friends

was absent last friday

want to hang out with the bowling crew more often..or just with this one person in particular

arends bday today

> WARNING

BUBI is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Demure Flirt


What Kind of FLIRT are you?
brought to you by Quizilla